Omid-X is an alien Extra-Terrestrial (Alien) who landed on Earth mid 2019 on a research mission from his planet in a neighboring solar system. Omid-X and all the names he refers to in his emails (family members and alien friends) are not the actual names. They are encryption keys used to send secure messages back to his planet. He tells me that his adopted name on Earth is Bob, so Omid-X and Bob are the same person.
I met him accidentally in October 2019 in Texas and we hit it off right away. He has a very earthly appearance: he looks like us, he talks like us and he behaves like us. This is not surprising of course, because he is on Earth to research us, thus he has to interact with us.
I don’t really know why he opened up to me one night and revealed his alien nature. I suspect the Vodka soaked jellybeans and the Cannabis laced cigarettes he consumed had something to do with it. He told me that alcohol and Cannabis have a truth-revealing effect on his people, so they are illegal there, because nobody on his planet wants to know the truth.
Anyways, to make a long story short, after I promised I will not reveal his identity and nature (we even signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement – NDA), we talked regularly for the rest of 2019 and early 2020, until COVID-19 became a pandemic. I lost touch with him in early March 2020, but two years later, in March 2022, he resurfaced and made me an offer I could not refuse.
One morning in late March, shortly after Spring Equinox, he showed up at my door all excited and eager to talk. He told me that he sends his observations and opinions about earthlings via emails to his parents and sometimes to his girlfriend, who all live on his planet (He has never told me where his planet is, he just refers to it as Planet X). His parents and his girlfriend then edit his emails and every so often send a redacted report to the institution where Omid-X works and is doing the research for. Why a redacted version you ask? Well, as I mentioned, the people on his planet do not like the truth, so anything that could resemble the truth is redacted out! The good news is that there is not much that is redacted out, because Earth is so different from Planet X that most people do not believe a word of what Omid-X writes.
Now about the offer: I have become the sole publisher of his emails on Earth and have the right to make them available to earthlings, as long as I respect his privacy and do not reveal his identity or whereabouts. And I get to publish his unredacted emails!
I must say Omid-X has a sense of humor, but you have to appreciate it. He does write wacko stuff sometimes, but I don’t censor it, because I do not want to hurt his feelings. In addition, he tortures me constantly with his constitutional rights of freedom of speech, not to mention that he does not believe Earth’s laws apply to him, for he is an Alien Superpower.
For your information, his emails are generally destined to 3 people: Agamem-X, his father, Esperan-M, his mother, or sometimes Hopesoo-Z, his companion, who is from this special androgynous tribe on his planet.
One last thing: he often refers to his parents as ‘Lifegivers’. This is how people on Planet X refer to their parents. They do not distinguish between the notions of male and female (even though that biological distinction does exist), consequently they do not have the terms ‘mother’ and ‘father’, just ‘lifegiver’.
So, there you have it, I will be publishing Omid-X’s Alien emails for your reading pleasure. Some are funny, some sad, some thought provoking and some downright hilarious. The first few emails date back to the early days in late 2019, and a few from 2020-2021, but I try to publish his more recent emails. I am planning to negotiate with him soon to get the emails in real time or at most with a max 2-day delay. One day I may collect all his emails in one publication, who knows.
January 2023, Paris,
Henry Dimplefink